A person trusts one whom she knows, if s/he knows herself then she trusts herself and solves her problems easily… Unfortunately, a great number of women are not aware of the problem, even the most common and usual problems… Responsible people should work hard to have healthy individuals and a healthy society….
“Its Importance, Loss, and Consequences”
Gyn.Opr.Dr. Ersin OĞUZ*
“There are always some issues always known but not dealt or spoken about. Also, problems always upsetting but cannot be solved. There are always dreams imagined but cannot be seen. Everything starts with asking this question: ‘What is the real reason?’ If something goes wrong, the reason should be questioned...”
“We can only assume there is sexual comfort when both parties are happy and satisfied both individually and mutually.”
Nowadays, problems in sexual life underlie several psychological and physical conflicts within the family. However, this problem is ignored. Woman may become indifferent towards her husband, and man may have eyes for the other women. The triggering issue is not regarded as a healthy sexual life and instead environmental out coming factors such as man’s lack of interest towards woman, and his efforts to find new opportunities, woman’s involvement in housework or children’s problems, economical problems are thought to be the reasons.
A male-female relation in good health is strengthened by an efficient sexual life. Cooperative actions preserve the team spirit and enhance sympathy and friendship between couples. Team spirit fosters family ties. Sexuality is a means to keep the team spirit within the family alive.
Sexuality is surely meaningless on its own, but is the most important of all the elements in a marriage. If there is not a complete acknowledgement in families where anything except sexual life is perfect, the sustainability of the family may turn out to be a torture. If there is a sexual intercourse, it should be efficient. Sexuality may be a criterion to understand the affinity and physical interest between couples.
Domestic violence, pressure even rapes are very common but the sufferers do not express it. They feel ashamed, do not look for solutions and endure it resignedly. In fact, expression of a problem is the initial and the most essential step in the way to find a solution. Domestic violence is expected to reduce in families treated and who get Professional aid. Mostly, emotional problems between couples, the loss of love and affinity are thought to arise from different factors. When the problem is deeply analyzed and solved, love and affinity among couples refreshes and enlivens.
Another situation, of which lots of people are aware but do not express, is the enlargement of the vagina due to various reasons. When a solution has been found for this problem, the couples have better relations and have more affinity and interest to each other. Another reason for the obstacles in sexual life between couples is the organic and physical defects in vagina. Inharmonious physical forms obstruct a complete satisfaction and pleasure. Besides healthy forms, harmonious vaginal forms re necessary as well. Inharmonious dimensions of the sexual organs hinder neural stimulus and decreases sexual efficiency.
In relations where couples have problems, their sexual life should certainly be questioned. According to the statistics couples with problematic sexual lives grow distant from each other and their children are negatively affected. An important portion of the problems in couples’ sexual lives is due to the deformation of the vagina.
From one hand, everybody says ‘Family is the basis of the society.’ Unfortunately, the necessity of love and respect within a family has always been valued but sexuality has been ignored. Sexuality is also one of the building stones of the family. Sexuality has been regarded as the entertainment of men, women’s such requirements haven’t been dwelt on much. Thus, this has made woman have difficulty in expressing their problems when they cannot meet their basic requirements. Women’ such problems regarding expression should be questioned and dealt by a related specialist.
Rather than dwelling on sexuality which is a very natural activity in terms of family integrity, pornography and other perverted actions have become popular. As pornography and perverted tendencies arouse curiosity, they have led to misunderstandings about sexuality which is a fairly innocent and a legal phenomenon.
Sexuality, like all other physical needs, is an activity necessary for reproduction. It is made willingly and without hesitation. And it should never turn out to be a torture. If it is painful, boring and inefficient, and if couples have sex reluctantly, it turns out to be a torture and puts a distance between the couples. It is essential that sexual comfort be maintained in order not to lose desire towards the mate.
Sexuality isn’t a shame. Nevertheless, it shouldn’t be a phenomenon about which couples rashly express their problems and look for solutions. The most confidential and private issue in a family is the sexuality. Couples with sexual problems should talk about them mutually, and share their problems with a specialist rather than their friends and acquaintances. Looking for professional solutions is the most suitable way.
“Having an uncomfortable sexual life is neither an illness more any kind of shortcoming of individuals.
The issue is that couples should be aware of it and do what is necessary to overcome. ”
Who should get urgent help for maintaining sexual comfort?
Couples should get help when;
- One of the couples suffer from physical discomforts such as pain, itch, and fluid (akıntı),
- They have a problematic sexual intercourse,
- There is a problem of crutching due to the looseness of the sexual organ,
- There are psychological problems before, during and after the sexual intercourse,
- Couples have sexual intercourse without love and affinity towards each other,
- The quality of their sexual life decreases gradually,
- The male suffers from sexual impotence,
- There is no orgasm or in the case of excessive desire for sex,
- In cases where people cannot express themselves properly.
Whose sexual lives should be questioned?
- There is lack of love and affinity between couples,
- There is intolerance within the family,
- One or both of the couples have sexual interest towards a third person other than his/her mate,
- The couples seem to get bored of each other,
- Couples have a communication problem,
- They mention divorce actually,
- One of the couples seems to be in depression.
As for these problems of the couples, gynecologists, urologists, general practitioners, psychologists and psychiatrists or trained guide and consultants, nurses, conscious friends and acquaintances may help initially. Upon the discovery of the problem, the underlying reason is found and the couples are informed as to what kind of professional branch they should apply.
WE SHOULDN’T BE INSENSITIVE TOWARDS OUR OWN AND OTHER’S PROBLEMS
* Gynecologist (The first specialist to use the term Sexual Comfort both in